


Sputnik

by HollowSoldat



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Flash Fic, I found this in my old morning pages so heres a thing, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Steve and Bucky - Freeform, might make an interesting fic someday what do you think?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 15:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowSoldat/pseuds/HollowSoldat
Summary: The Winter Soldier's trigger words weren't the only codes implanted in Bucky's brain.





	Sputnik

**Author's Note:**

> Contains strong language and reference of rape.
> 
> From my morning pages journal, it's just a one-off type thing but I think it might be interesting if explored in greater length and detail.  
> Please be kind with feedback/criticism as this piece is particularly raw and unedited. With morning pages you write hard and fast, the first thing that comes to mind for 5-10 minutes or longer if the mood takes you. Typically these pieces aren't really shared raw (at least not in my experience) so it is very rough. I thought it would be worth sharing so people can see the beginnings of a story, a hard and fast fic completely unedited and just see how huge a difference taking more time to tweak and edit can make. I'm sure this piece could be a lot better after a few revisions, but I also think it's refreshing to read "raw" and hope you are able to enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it by hand one morning! Let me know what you think and what your experiences with morning pages are like.

**Sputnik**

* * *

 

Everything switched off. His muscles failed him and he hit the floor hard. Just like the ten trigger words that activated his brainwashing, HYDRA implanted another failsafe to disarm the Winter Soldier if he ever dared to go rogue. 

The tests had been a success so far and whenever he heard the word  _sputnik_ he became paralysed. His handlers appeared to derive some kind of sick pleasure from his vulnerability. They waited until after a mission, when his muscles screamed and his augmented body was on the verge of exhaustion. He'd been out of cryo too long and everyone knew piece of Bucky were clawing at his brain. Before he was wiped clean and frozen again, the handler played his last sick game before the Winter Soldier would forget. There was just enough of Bucky there to try and struggle, to be afraid, but enough Winter Soldier to keep him docile, obedient to his handlers. When all else failed, he was still paralysed. 

"Zola called you HYDRA's fist once, but you're not Soldat. You're HYDRA's dog."

The Winter Soldier remained silent and still but the Bucky part of him shook with fear and rage.

"HYDRA's bitch."

He couldn't fight him off. Despite his training, his highly advanced bionic arm, his augmented body, he couldn't fight as the handler tore off his clothes and brutally mauled him. 

When it was over the handler buckled up his own belt and hit the button on the door, letting the scientists in to lift his beaten, defiled body, naked and useless and shove him back into the freezer. 

* * *

Bucky awoke with a start, cold sweat on his brow, chest heaving for breath, his left side aching and cold. He relived the same nightmares every night. The fall from the train, Zola's experiments, the surgeries and his rape. Over and over a freak show of horrors on the few occasions he managed to get any sleep at all. 

Steve peered his head in, still dressed in his pyjamas. He looked tired. 

"You were screaming" he said, stepping in and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" Bucky apologised, carding a hand through his hair, damp with sweat. 

"I don't find it easy to sleep either, Buck" he answered, evading the question. 

Bucky assumed he'd woken him with his screams. 

"Was it the fall again?" he asked.

Bucky shook his head. Steve knew about the fall but not much else, he didn't talk about the experiments, the torture, the assassinations. 

"No. Not this time" Bucky answered but his tone was closed and cautious.

He didn't want to unload this on Steve, not now, not ever. He was meant to watch his back, to the end of the line. 

He was meant to be the strong one. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. As I said, it's VERY raw, fortunately no spelling mistakes when I reread it, but any grammatical or syntax errors are left intact. So there you have it, don't beat yourself up if your own first drafts come out a little rough, even the most fantastic diamonds need to be cut and polished to shine their brightest!


End file.
